IDentity

(I went to the gym with only my phone and a credit card, I left the rest of my wallet at home. After the gym I went to K-Mart to pick up an air-conditioning unit because it was insanely hot)
Cashier: Can I see some ID?
Me: I don't have my wallet, can I show you my Facebook profile on my phone?
Cashier: what?
Me: (pulls up app, show cashier my screen)
Cashier: ok.

theniftyfifties:

Members of the Black Harlem Motorcycle Club, 1959.

(Source: oceansongs)

sivajackart:

My Explanation for Twins and Hysterical Pregnancy 

bestrooftalkever:

Perfect breakfast. 

(781): i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.

I like this idea.

(Source: textsfromlastnight.com)

(256): She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.

(Source: textsfromlastnight.com)

brofisting:

heyfatchick:

Queen Beth Ditto

“But wherever you shop, if stores don’t have clothes in your size, let them know. Try something on, stretch it out, rip it up, and put it back on the hanger as your way of saying, ‘Fuck off. Thanks for making clothes that don’t fit me.’”

can we just discuss how perfect beth ditto is in every single fucking way, forever and ever, amen?

(Source: paperspots)

(Source: kaleidostrobe)